The following is a blog by Moe Carrick

Recently, Mark Zuckerberg lamented the "feminization" of workplaces, as if empathy, collaboration, and emotional intelligence are somehow threats to progress. (Pause for eye roll.)

Let’s get honest. When we label basic human strengths like empathy and relationship-building as "feminine," we don’t just reinforce rigid leadership stereotypes—we uphold outdated biases that limit everyone. These restrictive norms don’t just hold women back; they cut men off from essential aspects of their own humanity. The results? Men are dying by suicide at nearly four times the rate of women, battling skyrocketing addiction, and reporting record levels of isolation and disconnection. These aren’t just statistics. They are a wake-up call.

And the data back it up. The Athena Doctrine by John Gerzema and Michael D’Antonio argues that traits traditionally labeled as "feminine"—adaptability, transparency, intuition—lead to stronger businesses, more engaged teams, and better bottom-line results. The catch? These qualities aren’t feminine or masculine. They’re human.

The best leaders I know:

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>Balance decisiveness with deep listening.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>Show vulnerability while maintaining clear boundaries.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>Build genuine connections while driving results.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>Express care while holding high standards.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>Process emotions openly and create space for others to do the same.

These aren’t "soft" skills that weaken leadership. They’re essential capabilities that define it. When we gender them, we don’t just hold women back—we shackle men, too.

The future of leadership isn’t about choosing between "masculine" or "feminine" traits. It’s about liberating all leaders to be fully human. Because the stakes aren’t just about business performance. They’re about lives.

So here’s my challenge to you: What would change in your workplace if we stopped gendering leadership qualities? How might your own leadership evolve if you embraced all of your human capabilities? Hit reply and let me know—I’d love to hear from you.

P.S. The strongest leaders I know lead with both heart and backbone. What about you?

Moe’s website is : moementum.com​

Gary Langenwalter

Portland Consulting Group

For Vibrant Organizations

(971) 221-8155

These are incredibly challenging times for leaders.

40% of CEOs fail in their first 18 months!*

However, the top CEOs’ companies generate 2.8x more returns for their shareholders than their peers.

One of the mindsets separating these top CEOs from all the others is they treat people and culture as a top priority. The top CEOs and leaders address the psychology of the team first, focusing less on what the team does together and more on HOW they work together.

Specifically, they recognize that psychological safety is the foundation for successful teams and thriving organizations.

What is psychological safety?

It’s the belief that you won’t be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns or mistakes, according to Dr. Amy Edmonson, a Harvard Business School professor who has researched psychological safety for over 30 years. When people feel psychologically safe, they’re able to fully collaborate, leverage collective talents, and drive innovation.

Why does it matter?

Teams are how things get done in organizations.

Recent findings by McKinsey underline the significant impact of team dynamics on the execution of strategies. Challenges with people and culture account for 72% of the barriers to success. Addressing these not only doubles the likelihood of successful strategy implementation but also cultivates a resilient and adaptable workforce.

In our modern workplaces, collaboration has increased by 50% compared to two decades ago. Without a psychologically safe environment, employees are more likely to engage in self-preservation rather than focusing on collective goals. This defensiveness stifles learning, innovation, and efficiency—key ingredients for success in any business.

The cost of silence in an organization is high. Often, individuals refrain from speaking up not because they lack insight, but because they fear the repercussions of disrupting the status quo.

Psychological safety is fundamental to fostering a culture of open communication and innovation. In today’s fast-evolving business environment, where cross-functional teams must rapidly form and perform, creating conditions where employees can freely express themselves or voice concern is critical.

If you want the stats, according to Google’s Project Aristotle, psychological safety contributes 43% to team effectiveness. Without it, you are leaving performance on the table.

Why now?

The “post-pandemic era” has further eroded trust and psychological safety in many workplaces as we’ve had to adapt to new ways of working together. But savvy leaders see this as an opportunity to reset cultures by prioritizing psychological safety.

Thus, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is creating the conditions for psychological safety in your teams and organization. In today’s competitive environment, can you afford not to prioritize people and culture?

Guest blog by:

Stephanie Fleming

President, Viri Group

This article is based on the following research:

• *CEO Excellence: The Six Mindsets that Distinguish the Best Leaders from the Rest by the McKinsey partners Carolyn Dewar, Scott Kellar, and Vikram Malhotra
• The Fearless Organization by Amy C. Edmondson
• Project Aristotle, research by Google
• Losing from Day One. Why even successful transformations fall short, McKinsey & Company December 2021

I hope you found this useful. Gary

A “compliment sandwich” is a widely accepted practice of delivering bad news that a person’s performance needs improvement. A compliment sandwich starts with praise, then adds criticism, then finishes with praise. It’s supposed to make the listener more receptive and leave them feeling better. In theory, the more praise at the beginning and end, the better the recipient of the criticism will feel, and the more receptive they will be. Great theory, right?

BUT – that’s not how it works in the real world. Think about it. If you praise your dog, giving it a doggie treat and patting its head, then you scold it and spank its nose, then praise it with another treat, how does the dog respond to praise and doggie treats after you’ve done this a few times? It has learned that praise precedes scolding, so it will start being afraid of praise. Generally speaking, humans are smarter than dogs. So if a person is working for a boss who uses the compliment sandwich technique, and the boss compliments the person on their performance, what do they expect next? Exactly. They don’t even hear the compliment; they just prepare themselves against the expected criticism.

The art of effective coaching is to deliver a single, clear message. And a large part of the art of coaching is praising people when they do things well. Period. No other zingers, no other hooks. Just straightforward praise. So people get comfortable being praised. With that as a foundation, when it’s time to criticize, the person will be better equipped to hear the criticism, especially if it’s delivered from the standpoint of missing expectations that were already agreed upon. The criticism should end with a clear understanding of how the person can improve (with measurable goals and dates), and the commitment of both parties to help that happen.

Have you used compliment sandwiches? How did they work for you? Or have you had compliment sandwiches used on you? What was that like?

Gary Langenwalter

“Why did we even meet at all?” I wondered as the interminable meeting finally concluded. Other times I have asked, “Why am I in this meeting?” And too often I have asked: “Why were X, Y, and Z in the meeting?”

Tired of time-wasting meetings? You’re not alone. It’s time for a revolution!

Revolutionary idea #1 – Imagine that each person in the meeting is worth $1000/hour. Then decide if the proposed meeting is worth that, or if this topic/decision could be handled by e-mail or a unilateral decision. Status updates should be accomplished via e-mail. If a meeting is necessary, who are the bare minimum of people who MUST be in the meeting? Then create an agenda that minimizes the meeting time and maximizes the outcome – what result do you need from the meeting?

Revolutionary idea #2 – For every person that “could” have been invited but you chose not to invite, send them a note that says that they can claim they’re in a meeting with you. BUT during the time that they are not meeting with you, they need to become a consultant worth $1000/hour. They should dream up something that will propel your organization forward, for example, a new product or service or an idea to empower people or reduce waste.

Revolutionary idea #3 – After your meeting is over, contact each creativity consultant non-participant and ask what they dreamed up. Give a hokey prize to the best idea. After a couple iterations, people will start taking you seriously, and your resulting impact on your organization should be breathtaking.

When you do meet, insist that the meeting design use the classic three P’s for effective meetings, plus my own 4th P:

• Purpose – clearly stated.
• Preparation – agenda published 24 hours in advance, and all supporting materials delivered in time to be read. Meeting agenda should clearly state what each participant should bring.
• Presentation – clear, focused, concise. This does NOT mean that socializing in meetings is counterproductive. On the contrary, PEOPLE make things happen, and people are social animals, so socializing is an absolutely vital part of any meeting. Finish with a call to action – next steps – SMART goals.
• Participation – ensure that all attendees participate at the appropriate level.

What do you think? Ready to start a meeting revolution?

Gary

Conventional wisdom holds that if there’s a potential legal claim against you, don’t apologize, because that could be deemed an admission of guilt or liability and increase claim risk.

The opposite is actually true: Proper apologies tend to prevent claims or lead to amicable resolution.

The key is how you apologize. We urge them to apply the MIDAS touch:

• M means acknowledging you made a mistake.
• I stands for "injury," as in, "My mistake caused you harm."
• D stands for "differently," as in, "I won’t behave this way again."
• A stands for "amends"—your gesture to show your apology is heartfelt.
• S means "silence"— stop talking and thus keep your "but" out of your apology.

Here’s an example.

My friend Jathan Janove once served as office managing shareholder in an international law firm. He got a call from a partner in one of their East Coast offices. "Tom" was furious.

"Jathan," he said, "I have a complaint about one of the partners in your office, ‘Lisa.’ " Tom explained how Lisa had dropped the ball on a project. The client was so upset that it threatened to take its business to a competitor.

Tom explained that Lisa had compounded the offense with an e-mailed "but" apology. It pointed out mistakes others made and stated that her mistake was minor and caused no substantive loss to the client.

Jathan told Tom that he would look into the matter.

When Jathan told Lisa about Tom’s call, Lisa became angry. "I wasn’t the only one who made a mistake!" she said. "Tom dropped the ball himself, as did the client’s general counsel. I’m being singled out! This isn’t fair! If Tom has a problem with me, he should’ve called me, not you. I have a good mind to give him a call and let him know what I think!"

Jathan replied, "OK, Lisa, what do you think will happen if you call Tom and give him a piece of your mind? Won’t he become even more upset and take his complaint to the firm’s board of directors, as he threatened to do in our conversation? And what happens when the board gets the complaint? Although you said others made mistakes, you acknowledge that you made one, too, so your record won’t be clean. How will that look to the board, especially when it learns a large client may take its business to one of our competitors? How will your approach help you achieve your goal?"

"Oh," Lisa said. "I hadn’t thought of it that way."

Jathan explained the MIDAS touch apology and suggested she give one to Tom.

"Acknowledge your mistake and say nothing about the other mistakes. Acknowledge the injury your mistake caused in the client’s becoming upset and threatening to take its business elsewhere, and in Tom’s anxiety and stress about potentially losing his biggest client. Tell Tom what you’ve resolved to do differently to prevent that mistake from happening again. Offer to make amends. And then be silent. Don’t say another word."

To keep to the script, Lisa wrote "MIDAS" on a sticky note and said, "I’ll have this in my hand when I make the call."

Two days later, Lisa walked into Jathan’s office and said, "I called Tom and made the apology."

"What was his response?" Jathan asked.

"To my great surprise, after I stopped, he made the points I wanted to make—that he and others made mistakes, as well, and that the client wasn’t materially harmed."

"What else did he say?"

"He accepted my apology, said he thought we could keep the client and that he’d be happy to continue working with me."

"Problem solved. Thank you."

Lisa turned to leave but then said, "One last thing: If I didn’t have that sticky note in my hand during the call, I probably would’ve blown it. By the time I got to the ‘S,’ I didn’t want to be silent!"

One last point, noted by best-selling author Daniel Pink: "With apologies, timing can be everything. The best approach is to apologize as quickly as possible after the underlying offense. Often, the longer you wait, the more the aggrieved party will stew and the less sincere your apology will seem."

This blog was excerpted from Jathan Janove’s blog December 14, 2023.

Jathan Janove, J.D., is the author of Hard-Won Wisdom: True Stories from the Management Trenches (HarperCollins/Amacom, 2017). He was president of the Oregon Organization Development Network and was named in Inc. magazine as one of the Top 100 Leadership Speakers for 2018.

44 ‘Top teams eat top talent for breakfast’: What neuroscience can teach us about leadership

by Véronique Bogliolo• 5 min read

Why do we see our star performers burn out so often? The solution is to promote a culture of top teams instead of top talent.

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” While the origins of this proverb are not crystal clear, its wisdom resonates, especially in the realm of leadership. In a world where the pursuit of excellence often focuses on individual talent, leaders must foster a culture of top teams – the ‘we’ instead of the ‘I’. That’s because any system will only be as strong as its weakest link. Ultimately, top teams eat top talent for breakfast.

In neuroscience, there is a state called being ‘below the line’. It is induced by elevated levels of cortisol (the ‘stress hormone’). Sensations of frustration, worry, and hopelessness prevail, and our focus shifts entirely to ourselves. But there’s also a state called being ‘above the line’, induced by a hormone called oxytocin. We feel open and engaged, showing courage, inquisitiveness, and contribution as part of a greater whole. This is a state of mind that is essential for any functional team. 

Our state of mind largely determines how we compute and respond to the same set of facts. For example, something as simple as the ‘ping’ of an email arriving in your inbox can either create irritation or a sense of opportunity. From an evolutionary point of view, the need for collaboration, group harmony, and deep social ties (even at work) is coded into the human genome. The absence of these factors is what causes us to shift into a below-the-line state, one of stress and fear which is all too prevalent in today’s fast-paced world.

A first step to escaping this dilemma is to understand that teams and organizations are systems held together by human relationships. But this is often undermined in organizations by a ‘performance measurement mentality’ that pits individuals and their unique value-adds against a uniform set of benchmarks, as well as each other. It showers one specific archetype with glory, reducing the platform for diverse voices that do not fit the narrow mold and limiting creative thought. 

In a world of winners and losers, it is the ‘top talent’ that often gets rewarded with high-stakes projects and increased workloads. However, the personality types favored by organizations are often the least fit to handle the increased spotlight and pressure: the perfectionist over-achievers, with their loud inner critics, mercilessly driving themselves to ever-greater exhaustion in pursuit of pleasing the system. Have you ever noticed how the brightest lights in a department eventually burn out? This is where the aforementioned “weakest links”, those people on your teams not fitting the narrow and uniform criteria for what we call top talent, show their true value. Big-picture thinkers with even temperaments, who stay attuned to one another with ease and smooth out the relationships in your system, keep our star employees from grinding to a halt and dipping below the line. It is not about giving top talent a support crew. It is about recognizing talent in its many facets. It is about shifting our thinking from top talent to top teams – in other words, from ‘I’ to ‘we’.

To do this, leaders must recognize the limitations of their organizational structures and performance measurements. While changing these structures may be beyond their immediate control, leaders can still shape the culture that exists within their teams. Shifting focus from top talent to fostering collaboration and an ‘above the line’ mindset requires the following intentional leadership behaviors:

1. Get to know your value system and lead by example 

Any top team in hierarchical structures starts with a leader who is deeply knowledgeable about their value system. Value-based team cultures that promote well-being do not simply emerge, they require a mold into which they can shape themselves. As leaders, you are that mold. You must be clear and vocal about your values and spend regular time with teams to find common ground.

You also have to make room for the human inside you – one that may need support, has a bad day, and can make mistakes and own them. This will allow your teams to stay true to their humanity, remain above the line, and adopt behaviors such as proactive care for one another, deep listening, respect, a sense of a common destiny, and mutual achievement. 

2. Establish absolute operational clarity

The complexities and turbulences inherent to any organizational structure can derail even the most human top team. Lack of clarity around role expectations, growth direction, accountabilities, collaborative structures, and review processes are all recipes for disaster. Employees need to know where and who they are within this structure as well as where they are going and how the success of the team will be measured.

Setting these structures up is easy; staying abreast of them is less so. The key is communication and holding space in team meetings to focus on operational clarity. This allows leaders and their teams to address those misunderstandings that simmer under the surface. 

3. Inspire trust above all else 

Trust is the indispensable glue that holds a top team together – it is also the most difficult thing to get right. It is challenging enough to build and maintain alliances, friendships, or relationships with one person, never mind a group of people operating in dynamic environments filled with stressors beyond their control.

Yet, if we want innovative thought and creative ideas to flourish and drive our businesses forward, our teams must be able to operate without fear. There can be no retaliation for an idea that eventually does not shape up as expected, nor for honesty and constructive feedback. In the end, trust creates the kind of healthy debate and productivity that we will never see in teams operating in a trust deficit. 

For those of you interested in further study as to why your teams may not operate as the cohesive unit you wish for them to be, I highly recommend you read Patrick Lencioni’s classic “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team”, the executive summary for which you can find here.

Published 19 January 2024 in Team building

Gary Langenwalter

Happy New Year! If you’re like most of us, you’re back to work, making decisions, large, small, and everything in between. One of my favorite decision-making tools is the keep-stop-start method, which can be used by both teams and individuals. With this method, you ask three questions:

1. What’s working that we want to keep?
2. What’s NOT working that is harming us, keeping us from our goal, or just wasting our time, that we want to stop?
3. What are we not yet doing that if we were to start doing would have the greatest positive impact?

This method helps us to approach decision-making with our future situation in mind.

One of my managerial pet peeves is how often people never go back to evaluate their decisions. It’s just decision after decision, after decision, with no assessment. Here’s the thing to remember: A decision is neither finished nor able to be deemed good (or bad) until it’s been assessed. You also need to decide at the outset when it’s the appropriate time to assess (A month out? Quarterly? Every six months?). Schedule the assessment and stick to it. It keeps you honest — and impresses your team.

When you’re faced with a decision, ask yourself three things:

1. Why am I making this decision, this way?
2. What problem does it solve, or what goal is it trying to reach?
3. How am I going to measure success?

It’s best to determine NOW which core questions you’ll ask at evaluation time, because right now, you have a clear head and a good understanding of what you’re aiming for. And six months from now you’re likely to approach the assessment from a less rational, more emotional, justification-driven place if you don’t set your goalposts now. When it comes time for assessment, do your best to keep a level head (remember, predetermined evaluation criteria help a ton here). Decisions are rarely a wholesale failure or success but, instead, an iterative, evolutionary process.

So “x” months after you’ve made a decision, ask what is not working? Be honest, fair, and courageous with yourself (because hey, it seemed like the right idea at the time!). Then, stop what’s not working.

What is working? Whatever that is, keep it.

How are you doing against your goals on a scale of 1-10? What’s the gap? And what do you need to do going forward to close that gap and achieve your goal? Start that.

Finally, most people’s schedules are so full that they can’t start anything new unless they stop doing some of their current activities and tasks. When you stop something, you’re choosing to make space for the new efforts.

Adapted fromSteven Fulmer e-mail December 21, 2023. Steven can be reached at stevenfulmer.com.

Gary Langenwalter

Remember how clean and organized your car’s trunk was when you bought it? What does it look like now? First, one or two things take up residence, then a couple more, then….

The same thing happens with processes and procedures in organizations. When they’re first designed, they work well. But then life intrudes; the procedures need to be adapted to changing requirements, so they become more complex and less effective until they finally don’t fit your organization’s needs very well at all.

This happens so gradually that we don’t notice the decreased effectiveness, increasing workarounds, or increased frustration. We adapt and keep on trucking (pun intended), and the processes continue to require ever-increasing resources.

Unfortunately, processes and procedures do not have a “self-cleaning” option. The best way to streamline them is to map them out in some detail and ask, for each step, “Does this step add value to the final paying customer?” If the answer is “no”, you can (and should!) discontinue that step. If the answer is “yes”, you then ask, “Is this best way to accomplish this step?”, then take appropriate action.

This tool is called Value Stream Mapping. It works for ALL organizations in ALL industries. We recently led a workshop for a professional services company, teaching their employees how to use the tool to streamline one of their customer-facing processes. It worked wonderfully well. They will be using Value Stream Mapping to simplify and streamline other processes throughout the company.

Gary Langenwalter

Instead of my normal blog, I’m forwarding this. Let me know if you found this interesting, or if you would prefer no more of these…

Gary Langenwalter

Portland Consulting Group

For Exceptional Results

Mobile (971) 221-8155

From: Boly:Welch <chelsea@bolywelch.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 30, 2023 11:30 AM
To: Gary <gary@portlandconsultinggroup.com>
Subject: What did employees make in 2023? 💸

Future-Proofing Talent: 2023 Insights No two job markets are the same, and we understand the nuances of Portland’s like no one else. For 38 years, we’ve partnered with the best businesses in town (that’s you!) to match talent with opportunity. And this year, we’ve collected market data from the jobs we’ve worked on to create our first ever trends report for employers in the Portland Metro area. This report doesn’t just present data we’ve gathered over the past year; it shares locally-sourced insights and strategies that will empower you to attract and retain the talent you need to thrive. Click through to download our full Job Market Trends Report and gain a leading edge over the competition in 2024! GET THE REPORT C<a href="mailto:connect Coming Up You can update your preferences or click here to be removed from this list.

My friend is a graphics designer for a large company, working on multiple projects simultaneously. Unfortunately, each project manager thinks their project is the highest priority. So after several months of extreme pressure and being pulled from one project to another, my friend basically quit caring. She goes to work, does her job, and comes home at night. One might call her “retired in place”, although she’s only in her 40s. A more current term is “quiet quitting.” The pressure from all her project managers was not only nonproductive, but counterproductive. Her GSI went from 7 to 2.

What’s a GSI? I coined the term “GSI”, which stands for “Give a S### Index” when I was drafted into the army in 1969. I used a scale of 1-10 to measure people’s attitudes, with 10 being the highest. In the army, my GSI (and that of most draftees) was a negative ten. I did my job, kept my nose clean, and got out as quickly as I could. What’s the GSI in your organization? And what can you, as a leader, do to improve it?

My grandpa used to remind me that I was born with one mouth and two ears, so maybe I should listen twice as much as I talked. Here are two approaches to improving GSI – and I encourage you to try both:

1. Create informal listening opportunities – lunch or coffee with the CEO, etc. Have executives deliberately sit with employees in the cafeteria and break room. As employees become more comfortable with the CEO’s presence, they’ll start opening up. One variation is the HP practice of Managing by Wandering Around.
2. Run an organizational health survey. One such survey is Vantage Point™, created by 25 organization development professionals in the Oregon Organization Development Network more than 10 years ago. You might be surprised at the results. More information can be found at www.vantagepointsurvey.com.

Gary Langenwalter

*Image by wayhomestudio on Freepik. Thanks.